Under the usual headline of “We found some fresh pins for you” I looked over my latest email from Pinterest (a name that is equal parts dumb and clever). Most of these messages contain collections of tips on writing because I indicated writing was my primary interest when I signed up, rather than drag racing or bocci.
Here’s a “pinterest” from the latest missive I received, along with what I suggest is the only possible correct response:
How to make your novel impossible for the reader to put down
[expand more_text=”Click for answer” height=”0″ hide_less=”yes” link_color=”#1e73be” link_style=”underlined”]Super glue on the cover[/expand]
Let’s check in on my progress in preparing for NaNoWriMo 2016!
First, a recap of my prep schedule below.
September:
Come up with a story idea
Choose a program for the actual writing part
October:
Ruminate over the chosen idea, perhaps outline a bit
Configure the writing program as necessary
Since October hasn’t arrived yet, let’s look closer at September:
Come up with a story idea
Progress: None whatsoever. I can say without hesitation that I have devoted no thought to what I might write about, other than a vague notion that it will be a story in which things happen. This is partly because the first week of September is the start of the fall semester and this is a very hectic time for me in my current work. My brain is not inclined to creative thinking during these early days. This is a bit of a stretch this year as Labor Day didn’t fall until the 5th, meaning I had five entire days to do nothing but think without significant distraction and instead of thinking I did other things, like eat olives. Mmm, olives.
2. Choose a program for the actual writing part
Progress: Some actual progress. Right now I’m looking at four different programs and mulling the pros and cons of each. The four are:
Microsoft Word 2016
WriteMonkey
FocusWriter
Scrivener
I’ve used three of the four in previous NaNoWriMos, with FocusWriter being the brash rookie trying to win me over. A succinct evaluation of my experience in using each would be:
Microsoft Word 2016: Technically I used earlier versions of Word but the last few have been essentially the same. I’ve encountered no issues in using Word for NaNoWriMo.
Pro: Works across Windows, Mac and iOS Con: Way more than you need to write a straightforward novel, formatting code is a hidden, tentacled monster that will try to strangle your story if you start mucking about with it
WriteMonkey: Again, no issues. The spartan nature of the interface puts it squarely in the distraction-free writing category. Most of its extra functionality is hidden behind keyboard shortcuts or a single menu that is hidden by default.
Pro: Simple, highly configurable interface Con: Curiously slow to start up, current version is Windows-only, some features are limited or hard to use
Scrivener: A mix-up in local vs. cloud (in this case, Dropbox) saves resulted in a catastrophic loss of a large chunk of the story (thousands of words). This derailed my attempt and further pushed me away from using Scrivener for any writing. Scrivener is essentially the opposite of WriteMonkey, with an absolute ton of options and tools, most of them staring you right in the face (though you can hide most if you choose).
Pro: Many options for researching, outlining, organizing characters and more, interface can be tweaked, scenes can be easily moved around, works across Windows, Mac and iOS Con: Instead of a single file, it creates many, introducing more points of failure, save mechanism annoyingly saves after two seconds of inactivity by default. This can wreak havoc if you save to a cloud-based drive.
FocusWriteris similar to WriteMonkey, but emphasizes a different set of features, including backgrounds and ambient music intended to put you into a relaxed and writin’ kind of mood. Curiously I find these rather distracting so have turned them off. It works on Windows and Mac, which is a plus.
At this point I am leaning toward either WriteMonkey or FocusWriter. WM has a spiffy new version in the works but it may not be ready before November. The current version (2.70) is still perfectly fine, just less sexy (and Windows-only). FocusWriter is nice but I haven’t found that feature yet that would convince me to use it over WriteMonkey.
I expect to have settled on the tool in the next few weeks. As for the story idea? Maybe I’ll do some brainstorming this weekend. Yes, that’s it.
Run 459 Average pace: 5:16/km
Location: Brunette River trail
Distance: 5:04 km
Time: 26:33
Weather: Light showers
Temp: 14ºC
Wind: light
BPM: 156
Stride: n/a
Weight: 157.8 pounds
Total distance to date: 3670 km
Devices/apps: Apple Watch and iPhone 6
I skipped Tuesday’s usual run because I was wiped out from work. This is not normal, but the first day of classes for the fall semester when you work at a college IT help desk can do that to you. I came home feeling like I’d walked 20,000 steps. Which I had.
I vowed to stay on track by running tonight and despite ominous clouds, I stayed true to my vow. Due to a light rain and a temperature of only 14ºC I donned my long-sleeved Nike shirt, though in the end a regular t-shirt would have been fine (because there was virtually no wind, so it never felt overly chilly).
Somewhat unusually I fell into a comfortable pace quite early and stayed there for nearly the entire run. Looking at my splits I had the usual drop at the 2km mark but actually got progressively faster to the end of the run, with my final km pace being 5:03 vs. 5:07 for the first km. Until about the last 500m I never tried to push beyond this comfy pace so I am surprised to see I kept picking up speed.
The right leg felt fine for the first half of the run, began to feel a bit stiff in the second half, but began to feel better again before the run ended. It is weird, my right leg. I can handle weird better than injured, however.
The rain was pretty light and wasn’t even a nuisance on my glasses like it usually is, thanks to the aforementioned lack of wind. The trail was all but deserted, save for a cyclist or two. I know it makes me seem anti-social but I kind of like running Omega Man-style.
Overall I’m pleased with this run. It is probably the most relaxed I’ve felt while doing a 5K in a long time.
I decided to pick this up because it recently got re-released as an ebook.
This is a collection of letters received by Anne and Whitley Strieber after the publication of the latter’s book Communion, and some its subsequent follow-ups. (The book came out originally in 1997.)
I’ve always enjoyed Strieber’s Communion books because a) he’s a novelist, so he knows how to tell a story b) the stories he recounts are by turns freaky and fascinating and c) they satisfy a part of me that is intrigued by the possibility that the reality we see and the reality that might be could be vastly different things. There is some scientific evidence to suggest the possibility of parallel dimensions, for example. Imagine if we had definitive proof–it would shatter our current conception of the universe. The mere thought that multiple Adam Sandlers could exist is almost too much for the human mind to comprehend.
But I digress.
The Communion Letters is loosely themed into chapters focusing on specific types of encounters with beings that may be aliens or have some connection to the dead or could be super-evolved humans come back from the future to keep us from screwing up the planet. Each chapter has a short introduction from Whitley (Anne’s task was to read through the staggering 200,000 letters they received) but the bulk of the book are the letters themselves.
They range from odd incidents that may or may not be explainable through conventional means, to stuff that would fit right in with the wackiest theories floated on Ancient Aliens. The quality of the writing is just as varied, with some letters being somewhat disorganized as the authors backtrack on their thoughts or interject in the middle of a recollection with something else, while others have that “just cracked open a thesaurus” feel to them. More than a few are not just well-written, the stories they tell are riveting, filled with details of small town life interrupted by strange, sometimes wondrous and often terrifying events.
In the end no definitive conclusion is drawn by Strieber, other than a wish that science would study the people reporting these experiences, to help demonstrate that their stories are not just the products of over-active imaginations or even mental illness (Strieber says he read over many writings from people suffering mental illnesses and found a clear distinction between their work and the stories recounted in the letters they received).
At times creepy and at times so out there that I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes, The Communion Letters is an interesting showcase for ordinary people to sound off on their experiences with the “visitors.” If the subject matter intrigues you, this is worth a read, even if the selection of letters could have been a bit stronger overall.
On September 1st I received the following in an email:
It’s a birthday wish from Xbox. It’s nice of them to think of me.
My birthday is September 19th.
This made me wonder–since they got the month right, do they just send a mass of email out twelve times a year at the start of each month that covers every birthday for that month? If so, why? Is it a money-saving measure? Email has to be cheap, I’m inundated with it all the time.
Or did they really send it nearly three weeks before my actual birthday by mistake?
Anyway, it’s a cute dog, so thanks Mr. Xbox for the kind-of-early birthday wish!
Having given it some thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that no, I do not like dog owners.
I should add that I am only referring to ones I’ve encountered. I have no opinion on all of the others–yet.
But of those I have met, yep, I don’t like most of them. They are irresponsible and selfish, they often have poorly-trained dogs and show little regard for the safety or comfort of others.
Dogs can be dangerous, even tiny toy dogs can bite hard and if they’re not healthy, they can spread infection or worse. A dog that is off-leash is not under the owner’s control, no matter what the owner may think. “Oh, he always comes when I call!” may seem ironclad because that’s always what has happened before, but if the dog decides to ignore you, your ability to control it lies in how long it will take you to get to it and grab it by the collar–assuming it doesn’t turn on you.
Tonight I went for a short walk through Hume Park and back. I follow the usual route I take when running, going down the stairs to Lower Hume Park. Just past the bend on the trail is a large dog sniffing about. It’s off-leash. There is no way to physically get past the dog without getting within range of its mouth, which is presumably full of sharp doggie teeth. The dog hasn’t noticed me and may very well be as friendly as all get-out. I have no idea, as I’ve never seen it before. Its owner is not within view. I back off and decide to wait thirty seconds or so, thinking by then the owner will have caught up and both dog and owner will move on.
That doesn’t happen. Instead the dog is still there. I wait again. After the third strategic retreat the dog has moved over to the parking lot and is standing next to the open door of a truck, which presumably belongs to the owner, unless the dog has the amazing ability to drive motor vehicles. I am then able to proceed forward on the path without facing imminent potential mauling.
I’ve been attacked and bitten by dogs before, having done nothing to provoke them. I’ve just unluckily been within proximity when they decided to flip out for whatever reason. My childhood was a series of tetanus shots. I don’t wish to repeat this as an adult.
This could have been avoided by the owner simply leashing the dog, as required by law. But the majority of dog owners I see don’t do this (I should add that a lot of them do and are nice people and usually the leashed dogs seem pretty nice, too).
I walk up the hill past the off-leash dog park. This is a fenced-in area that nonetheless has signs warning people that they must still keep their dogs under control at all times. As I walk by–keeping well away from the fence–a large dog with the coloring of a doberman runs up to the fence and starts following along, growling at me and taking on body language that says something to the effect of, “I would like to snack on you.” This does not amuse me.
The dog’s owner is oblivious.
I mutter obscenities and finally offer the dog advise of a carnal nature, while continuing to walk along. The dog either listens to my request (doubtful but not entirely impossible) or more likely reaches the end of the imaginary territory it needs to defend and backs off. The owner continues to remain oblivious.
A responsible dog owner would not have a dog that would follow and growl at a stranger when in public for no reason. An irresponsible one would.
I do not like dog owners.
Also, here’s a sign that’s posted on the same path I was walking along. If only all dogs were this cute and cartoony.
I’m not sure if the fine is for having your dog unleashed, not cleaning up its poop or a combination of both. What I do know is $2,000 is a heck of a lot of money to risk for the sake of letting Spot walk around unleashed.
Also, that cartoony dog is apparently owned by the invisible man.
Run 458 Average pace: 5:33/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CCW)
Distance: 10:09 km
Time: 56:05
Weather: Cloudy
Temp: 16ºC
Wind: light
BPM: 156
Stride: n/a
Weight: 156.7 pounds
Total distance to date: 3665 km
Devices/apps: Apple Watch and iPhone 6
I was still a bit concerned about the stiffness in my right leg so my plan today was to run steady but not push so I expected my pace to be lower–and it was, but only by a few seconds, coming in at 5:33/km. More importantly, the leg behaved and there were long stretches where my breathing was relaxed and I just felt good, that feeling where you feel like you could keep running forever or until your shoes completely fall apart.
There was some sun heading to the lake but it vanished behind the clouds for the run. The promise of sun and a slightly later start meant the trails were packed, with both joggers and walkers a-plenty. Reluctantly, and for the first time since I tripped, I opted to take all three side trails, to help avoid the crowds.
The good news is it worked. The side trails were completely clear and I remained upright the entire time. Here’s the tree root hazard report:
Spruce Loop: one root on the left side of the trail (not an issue as I was running on the right)
Conifer Loop: massive root that crosses the entire width of the trail and sits in the open. It’s impossible to miss seeing it. There is one other prominent root, on the left side. This is the Evil Tree Root, the one I tripped on. It was in the sun today and looked deceivingly harmless.
Piper Mill Trail: a few small roots located in the middle of the trail
While I settled into a comfy pace for most of the run, the starting km was an unusually brisk 5:03/km, the closest I’ve come this year to breaking the five minute mark. This is not a mark I expect to break, so seeing the time was a bit of a surprise.
I spied a garter snake slithering rapidly into the brush ahead of me. It was much faster than the python I saw a few weeks ago. It probably sits lower on the food chain than a python, though. For reference, this is what it looked like:
I am happy to report no dogs off-leash and every runner and pedestrian was polite and alert. Overall, a surprisingly pleasant run.
I’ve always been intrigued by UFOs. I loved Close Encounters of the Third Kind when I saw it at the age of 13. I wrote my own spin on the subject after seeing the movie, cleverly calling my story “The UFO Experience.” I watched every episode of NBC’s ill-fated Project UFO series in the late 70s, which was based on Project Blue Book and came about after the success of Close Encounters. I read books about the subject and continue to do so to this day.
The fascination has several sources. One is simply the tantalizing mystery of the unknown. Another is that UFOs–or at least some of them–carry the possibility of confirming the existence of extraterrestrial life. With our pop culture inundated with science fiction and its depiction of aliens in all forms, the idea of not being alone in the universe may not seem as immediately striking as it once was, but getting actual proof would still result in a profound change in how we view our world and everything beyond it.
Mostly I think it would freak a lot of people out.
In recent years it seems the number of UFO sightings has exploded. Smartphones have made it far more likely now that people will capture footage of sightings, even if that footage typically remains grainy, blurry, shaky or otherwise iffy. Maybe in another ten years Apple will have a super-amazing camera in the iPhone 15 that will capture shots of UFOs with such clarity you’ll be able to clearly see the little green men waving from the windows.
Along with the increase in the number of sightings has come a parallel increase in UFO TV shows. Where Project UFO stood out due to its subject matter, you can now watch Hangar 1: The UFO Files, Close Encounters, UFOs Declassified, Ancient Aliens and a bunch more than have come and gone or feature UFO incidents as part of their regular subject matter (The Unexplained Files, etc.) The approach of these shows ranges from relatively serious and sober (Hangar 1) to completely bonkers (Ancient Aliens, or as I refer to it, that show where you hear the phrase “ancient astronaut theorists say yes” roughly a billion times per episode).
All of this activity and interest has been greatly entertaining for me, even if much of it happens outside of mainstream media (though the TV shows do appear on channels like Discovery Science, of all places). The one thing that puzzles me is how some still deny the existence of UFOs.
I think it goes back to the freaked out thing.
A UFO is literally an unidentified flying object. If a runaway weather balloon is seen in the night sky but is never positively identified as such, it is by definition a UFO. Even if only a handful of sighting remain truly unknown, that’s more than enough to definitively state that UFOs are a real phenomenon. There are objects in the sky that we cannot always identify. So why deny the possibility?
It’s commonly (and logically) thought that any extraterrestrials that have made it to our planet would be technologically advanced and that frightens a lot of people. They think of Martian death rays, planetary conquest, enslavement, basically all the horrible things we humans have always done, just on a grander scale and with more sophisticated tools. And done by evil aliens instead of us.
I think if aliens were here and they wanted to turn us all into soylent green, they’d have probably done it already. But that’s part of what makes all of this so interesting for me–the possibilities are endless.
I couldn’t say what is behind most UFO sightings, whether they’re ETs from across the galaxy or from a parallel dimension, or even humans come back from the future for whatever reason. Or maybe they’re all runaway weather balloons. I keep an open mind on the subject. The universe is a strange place and we know very little about it. Heck, it’s been less than 50 years since we started wearing digital watches*. We’re still taking baby steps when it comes to technology and getting out to check our cosmic neighborhood. We have only ever had a single spacecraft leave our solar system–Voyager–and that was never the probe’s purpose, it just happened to keep on truckin’ after it completed its mission.
Having written all this, I’m not hoping for some weird abduction experience or implants or anything. I’m mostly content for the world to remain predictable and stable. I don’t think either is true anymore, if it ever was, so I’d like to think I’m prepared for whatever comes. I’ve got a smartphone with a decent camera, anyway.
* remember when digital watches were cool? Smart watches are the new digital watches. I’ve owned both because that’s what a good nerd does.
Did you know a ring-tailed cat is not a cat? Did you know I sketched a ring-tailed cat back in junior high and upon looking at the sketch today I had no idea what it was, except that it was small and furry and possibly a little mean? Did you know that I discovered it was a ring-tailed cat (which is not a cat but a relative of the raccoon) by doing a search for “ring-tailed animals” and coming across a similar image?
Now you know. Hopefully these trivial bits of information didn’t shove out something way more important from your brain.
Note the small backwards check in the lower right of the drawing. I think this was my teacher’s way of saying, “I acknowledge your work but dare not comment on it.” Which would be fair, really. I’ve never been more than a mediocre visual artist.
The scan is actually a photo I took with my iPhone 6, which I then cropped on my PC. Isn’t technology grand? The original image is 5×7 inches. Also, the ring-tailed cat appears to be missing a leg, a recurring theme in my animal sketches, apparently.
Ring-tailed cat, sketch done at age 15.
And here’s the same sketch using the Composition filter from the iOS app Prisma. These filters are so sophisticated they can make my trashy junior high art actually look kind of neat. Did I mention how grand technology is?
Run 457 Average pace: 5:31/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Distance: 10:05 km
Time: 55:32
Weather: Clear
Temp: 17ºC
Wind: light
BPM: 158
Stride: n/a
Weight: 157.4 pounds
Total distance to date: 3655 km
Devices/apps: Apple Watch and iPhone 6
With more time than originally expected, I did a 10K to round out the week of running, with the sky cloudy and the temperature 17ºC. The wind was light but felt a little brisk. Winter is clearly on the way as of September 1st.
For some reason my right leg was feeling a bit stiff on the walk to the lake, which struck me as odd as it felt fine yesterday and I didn’t run or even do a walk yesterday, other than trekking around on the job. I chose to hold back a bit for the run as a result, and while the soreness persisted into the run, it settled down and I don’t feel it made any real impact. I didn’t feel uncomfortable, at any rate.
The trail was pretty quiet but two people were blatantly violating the unspoken “walk on the right” rule. I got out of the way for one, reluctantly, while the other opted to pass on my right, which was pretty much where the trail did not exist. He managed to stay upright.
Despite yesterday’s rain, the trail was dry and puddle-free, apart from some water on top of the dam (and I didn’t run on the dam). It did rain after the run, so I am happy to have dodged that.
When running clockwise there is one notable danger point and that’s where Roberts Road leads into the parking lot for the Burnaby Lake Rowing Pavilion. When running counter-clockwise you emerge from the trail and cross the street with a clear view in both directions. When approaching from the other side you have a giant wall of vegetation creating a blind spot on your left–the side where traffic will come in from. It looks like this, courtesy of Google Maps street view:
Where joggers and cars hopefully don’t meet.
Generally this is not a problem as there is very little traffic and on a weekday, who would be coming out to the rowing pavilion, anyway? Someone in a small blue car with no brakes, apparently. As always, when I approach from the dangerous side, I swing a bit wide so I can see any vehicles ASAP and if it looks clear, I run across to the safety of the trail on the other side (it was shortly past that point that I ran into the bobcat/lynx, so safety is a relative thing). The blue car emerged at nearly the same moment and I quickly pulled in close to the edge as it sped by. It was obvious the driver was not expecting pedestrians. He or she was a dummy, not to mention reckless. But I got by and finished the run.
The pace was only slightly off my previous 10K and I’m happy with that. Sunday’s forecast currently looks perfectly pleasant, so here’s hoping it remains such. Almost every other days is a variation of “rain because summer is over, suckers.”
I think I’m special. Are you familiar with the Special Olympics?
Yes. Do you think you’re special in the same sense as the Special Olympics?
I think I’m special in the sense that I’m unique and interesting, perhaps even a smidgen fascinating. I don’t think fascinating comes in smidgens.
Almost fascinating, then. All right, let’s take a tally.
A tally? Yes. This is almost scientific. Describe yourself.
What do you want to know? Start with the very basics and go from there.
Okay. I’m human. Neutral. No points.
No points? No points. We’re all human. Go on.
I’m male. Negative ten points.
What? You heard me.
It’s not like I can’t help being male. I protest. Protest noted. Continue.
White. Negative ten points.
Again? Yes. Don’t feel down. Keep going.
Well, I’m left-handed… Two points.
That’s it? Have you been traumatized over your left-handedness?
Sometimes, when I try to use a pair of scissors. Point taken. Or in this case, given. Three points. Go on.
I wear glasses. Two points.
Not three? No. I’m not budging on this one, either.
Fine. I’m Canadian. Six points. One point extra just because of Trudeau.
I’m also gay. Ten points. Congratulations, you have offset being male.
That’s it? You’ve come a long way, baby.
But persecution still exists. True.
And people are still hurt, even killed for being gay. All right, twelve points. I think that’s fair. Continue.
I think I’m creative and somewhat artistic. A smidgen artistic?
Ha ha, very funny. How many points? Five points.
That’s less than I got for being Canadian, which isn’t even particularly unique! Are you familiar with the term “starving artist”?
Yes. It’s because there’s so many of them. Five points. Anything else?
I’m nice. Neutral. No points.
Neutral? Not everyone is nice but the expectation is that everyone should be. Do you dispute that?
Well, not really, I suppose. Is that everything, then?
It’s all I can think of offhand. Your total is eight points. This gives you the rank of Pedestrian. Do you want to try again? Y/N?
