Lists

Haiku to aliens silently observing us

scenic view of night sky
Photo by Hristo Fidanov on Pexels.com

Assuming there are a) aliens and b) they find us interesting enough to observe, of course. A haiku, in the form of a gentle plea:

Hello aliens
We're not as dumb as we seem
We need more time, please

This haiku is inspired by:

  • Putin thinking it was smart to invade Ukraine
  • People who cry about losing freedom because they have to wear a mask sometimes during a global pandemic
  • Global warming made a lot worse by guess who!
  • The general decline in rational thought, reason, compassion and what passes for common sense

Sometimes I think, “Wouldn’t it be neat to have a glimpse 100 years into the future, to see what wondrous technologies are yet to come?” but these days I’m more likely to pass on such an idea because I feel that future glimpse would reveal a world in which we (humans) are either gone or set back a thousand years or so in terms of technology due to our inability to stop fighting/killing each other and being so selfish and short-sighted about everything and anything. Sure, social media (nominated for Top Scourge of the 21st Century by me) amplifies all of this and perhaps makes it seem so much worse than it might really be, but I still find myself sighing over how often I see people being so casually thoughtless and uncaring. It feels like the glue that holds us together is wearing thin and everyone is moving toward looking out for #1, which will probably lead to our eventual doom.

Or maybe we will have flying cars and baby machines. Who can say? It’s easy to focus on the negative, so let me try one more haiku:

Hello aliens
We are a work in progress
Please do not blast us

There, a wee bit more positive, woo.

Resolutions shmesolutions 2022

This year, I am not making formal resolutions for 2022. There are things I want to do that I am doing now, I just want to do more of them, or have more specific focus on certain things.

These things include the usual self-improvement:

  • Lose weight
  • Exercise more (keep running)
  • Be generally more kind, thoughtful and generous. I’m not a horrible person now, but why not always try to improve?

They also include hobbies, some of which may help me earn an income in the future:

  • Write more (blogging, the newsletter, more fiction)
  • Draw more (my own projects, plus some daily or monthly prompts tossed in)
  • Photography, uh, more. Birds, scenery, stuff. With my camera or phone, both are good tools.

I also want to expand my knowledge in a few areas in 2022, again with generating moola as the desired endpoint, though knowledge for its own sake is good, too:

  • Programming (C#)
  • Game development, starting with Unity and C#
  • Learning my way around more apps like Affinity Designer, among others

And a few hopes that aren’t resolutions at all:

  • Not get sick, including maybe dodging the covid bullet just a little while longer
  • That the pandemic will actually end sometime in 2022, and I won’t be repeating this line in a year with 2023 written instead
  • Find contentment in small things, while always striving for more. I guess just try to be happy, no matter the circumstances. Assuming happy doesn’t mean retreating from reality. Unless they invent the Matrix, but without the killer robots. I’m up for ducking out in that.

Remember: This is not a list of resolutions for 2022, it just looks like one. Thank you.

2021: Well, that was a year

photo of cats near a green dumpster
I was looking for “dumpster fire” but I think I like this image better. Photo by Betül Balc? on Pexels.com

As the final days of 2021 draw near, and we look forward (?!) to 2022, let’s reflect on the year that was. And it was a year.

Unlike previous posts, I’m mixing everything together–personal victories, political nonsense, the state of the world and so on. Let’s call it Earth Blend, available for $11.99 at your local Starbucks.

The Good

  • I left a job I had come to actively not enjoy (hate is too strong a word)
  • I did three and a half months of drawing prompts to start the year
  • I did an Inktober prompt. Yes, one. Hey, it’s better than nothing!
  • Summer forest fires, while bad in general, only led to a few smoky days in Metro Vancouver, down considerably from previous years
  • I ran a lot more than in 2020, even with a late start of August
  • I got a mirrorless camera (Canon EOS M50) and have had oodles of fun taking photos with the telephoto lens (nothing pervy, just naked birds)
  • Dodged getting sick for another year
  • I kept blogging. Funny cats, hooray!
  • Contributed art and a trailer to an actual video game that will be for sale on Steam soon™
  • Trump is no longer president
  • The world did not blow up

The Bad

  • Will no one rid me of this meddlesome pandemic?
  • The COVID twins of Delta (“more people will get infected”) and Omicron (“everyone you know will get infected”)
  • My weight is basically unchanged. It should be down. I blame myself and salty/sweet snacks.
  • The heat dome (seriously, I never expected it to be hotter locally than the times I travelled through the Mojave Desert in the summer). 42 °C is pretty warm.
  • The frozen dome. Yeah, that’s what I’m calling it. -14 °C is actually probably easier to manage than 42 °C, but it’s still, you know, rather chilly for these parts. We shattered temperature records at both ends of the thermometer in 2021. 2022 will reveal if this was a fluke or the start of a fun new climate trend.
  • My fiction writing was, uh, moribund-though I did one writing prompt, so that’s a start!
  • I didn’t read as much, since I no longer have a commute. This is both good and bad.
  • I got a DisplayLink adapter, so I could fudge using my MacBook Air with dual displays, and have yet to get it working. A minor thing but still technically bad.
  • I’m ending the year with sinus issues, possibly related to the cold weather, but likely not related to COVID-19
  • U.S. democracy is looking a little beat-up after four years of Trump, the January 6th riots, and 40+ years of Republicans pushing for one-party rule

The Rest

  • I still haven’t seen a movie in a theater since watching Onward in the first week of March 2020 and can’t say I miss the experience. I love being able to pause and go pee. It’s especially handy now that the average movie is ten hours long. To clarify, I go pee in the bathroom, as civilization expects.
  • Justin Trudeau smelled a majority government within reach and instantly doomed any chance of it by calling an unnecessary election. The result was a Parliament virtually unchanged from before the election, proving the whole thing a waste of time. You’d think Trudeau might learn a lesson from this, but…we’ll see.
  • Discovering a prominent anti-vaxxer was living in my building and later died of COVID-19 was a little weird
  • I still like lists

This blog of mine

This blog of mine was started in 2005 and is approaching 16 years of age. It will make a terrible driver when it gets its license.

Here are a few random stats as I contemplate where to next take this blog (of mine):

  • 3,597 posts
  • All-encompassing General category has 1,151 posts. The next most:
    • 673 for Outdoor runs. One might say I obsessively document my runs. I say I’m thorough.
    • 381 for Health. I’m sure this has been on an upward trend as I get older and closer to being a Futurama-style head in a jar
    • 294 for Writing. So many dreams crushed. But some good laughs, too.
    • 237 for Photography. This went up significantly in the last three years and bird pics started in January 2021 after I got a mirrorless camera.
    • 220 for Creative. Like photography, most of these posts happened in the last few years, seeing a big uptick when I did Inktober in 2019 and 2020.
    • 100 for Lists. It’s probably higher than this, I sometimes forget to use the Lists category. I liked lists before listicles became a thing. Also, listicle is a gross-sounding word.
  • 26 comments (most very early on, when I asked people to test comments–they pretty much count as a vestigial feature at this point)
  • 46 pages (only a handful are actually publicly viewable, but I’ve deleted very few once they’ve been made)
  • 2,418 spam comments blocked (this is pretty low, considering how long the site has been up–even the spambots generally ignore this site)
  • 61 posts in September 2020. I was posting my snack intake every day. I took in a few snacks.
  • And so much more

In 2022 I plan on reworking the site design, which will make it magical or something. I expect it will still be mostly ignored, but that’s okay. As blogs come in and go out of fashion, creolened.com will be here, wearing its bell bottom jeans and not caring who (if anyone) looks.

More random questions and answers

Questions provided by that guy on the internet I know.

  • Q: Are street tacos really as good as people say?
  • A: I don’t know. I’ve only had indoor tacos.
  • Q: Why don’t dolphins build apartments if they’re so smart?
  • A: Probably due to the lack of opposable thumbs. But perhaps they build grand cathedrals in their minds, waiting to evolve flippers into thumbs. Then we’ll be sorry.
  • Q: Are the appropriate amount of my tax dollars being invested in public transit?
  • A: Probably pretty close, actually. People love to kvetch about transit and while no system is perfect, I feel transit in Metro Vancouver is pretty decent. Results may vary elsewhere.
  • Q: Is it really camping if you bring your own toilet?
  • A: Yes. While pooping in the woods is perhaps a more rustic experience, it is not a requirement of camping.

Five deadly things I thought were great as a kid

  • Volcanoes
  • Lawn darts
  • Dinosaurs
  • Second hand smoke (just kidding)
  • Sharks

I still think dinosaurs, sharks and volcanoes are cool (er, maybe hot in the latter case), but continue to boggle over lawn darts being an actual thing. You can get non-lethal versions now that are blunt, but seriously, who really thought that throwing what amounts to a deadly weapon back and forth on the front lawn was a good idea for kids? It’s no wonder kids loved them, they were like the forbidden toy that somehow slipped through.

A case of the blahs

Hard to explain. Could it be…

  • Uncertainty about the future
  • Global warming (sort of related to the above)
  • General sense of flabbiness
  • Something intangible and unknowable
  • The fact that the Styx album Kilroy Was Here really got made

I’m listening to “Mr. Roboto” right now, and I’m leaning toward the last one. I loved this album when it came out in 1983. I was 19 years old at the time. I present this as my only defense. Well, that and being a sucker for concept albums, apparently even bad ones.

My mind is blank

Yep, it is. I am in one of those weird phases where the more I try to think of something to write, the more the thoughts find ways to squirm out of my head and fly away, never to be seen again. Or maybe they just splat against the nearest window.

So when in doubt, let’s list1I like lists!

The Five Best Colors in the World According to Me

  • Dark pink
  • Red
  • Dark blue
  • Verdant green
  • Black. It’s not a color, but it’s so handy. And black.

Three articles of clothing I will likely never wear

  • A speedo
  • A kilt
  • A burlap sack

Perks of working in IT Support

  • lol
  • lol
  • Seriously, lol

Ways to Make the World a Better Place

  • Ride your bike
  • Grow some veggies
  • Be nice to others. Not super stupid nice, just reasonably nice and pleasant.
  • Eliminate all management
  • Probably need to do something about capitalism, too

Top 5 Worst Songs in the History of the Universe by Popular Artists

As experienced by me.

And in no particular order.

  • “Mother” by The Police
  • “Revolution 9” by The Beatles
  • “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel
  • “Rock and Roll Music” by The Beach Boys (cover)
  • “Mr. Roboto” by Styx

Notes:

  • Fantastically annoying
  • Tedious and indulgent
  • Insipid and cloying
  • Far removed from actual rock and roll
  • So, so dumb. But admittedly kind of catchy.

Neat things

Let’s end the month on a positive note, with a list of things that I find neat. Sometimes I can’t explain why I find something–it could be something that delighted me as a kid and that delight stayed intact as I grew into a bitter, cynical adult. Or it could be so intangible I can’t explain it at all. I’m sure someone could build an interesting (?) profile of me from what I’ve posted below.

Here’s the list, in no particular order:

  • Trains, passenger jets and large ships
  • Desktop wallpapers featuring landscapes with bodies of water or spooky forests
  • The art of Simon Stalenhag, who combines simulated oil paint, realism and retro-future technology
  • Outer space. It’s just so freaky with black holes, dark matter, nebulae and more.
  • Spacecraft, both real and imagined
  • Electric bikes that look like ordinary bikes
  • Computer mice. I always want something new, regardless of how well my current mouse works.
  • Computer UIs. One day I’ll do a comparison of Mac vs. Windows. Maybe when Windows 11 comes out.
  • Dams, both those made by humans and beavers
  • Ducks
  • Skyscrapers. Really, anything that is built on a massive scale.
  • The ocean. It delights and terrifies me in equal measure.
  • Photography that shows things you wouldn’t normally see, by using long exposures, extreme close-ups or other techniques
  • Fudge. Okay, it’s not really that neat, but I kind of want some.

A list of observations gathered while strolling in 42 °C weather

It hit 42 °C today, which breaks the old high temperature record by an impressive 11 degrees. Tomorrow’s high is forecast at 35, which will feel almost mild in comparison. I decided to go for about a 15-minute walk down to the park when it hit 42, just to see what it felt like. My observations, in handy list form:

  • Opening the front door of the condo building is like opening the grate on a furnace
  • The breeze feels like it is burning my face
  • My eyes are hot; this feels hugely weird
  • Heat radiates from the pavement, less so from the sidewalks
  • After about five minutes, the metal on my Apple Watch is starting to get hot against my skin
  • I am sweating like I am running, yet I am merely walking
  • Kids are still running around and screaming; presumably they are magically immune to heatstroke
  • The idea of going for my usual 7+ km walk today seems equal parts foolish and ludicrous–I do not go
  • Coming back and opening the door to our condo unit and getting hit by the cool breeze of the air conditioner is really, really nice. Like, super mega-nice.
  • I secretly wonder if I’ll be finding out what it feels like when the temperature goes above 42 °C–and how soon that might be
  • At least I don’t live in Lytton

Quote on Lytton from CBC News today:

As of 5:30 p.m. on Monday, Lytton had hit 47.9 C, according to Environment Canada. For context, that’s hotter than the hottest temperature ever recorded in Las Vegas, at about 47.2 C, and almost eight degrees higher than Lytton’s record high before this year.

A list of all the things I like about Apple

Time to be positive for a change.

  • The Apple logo is nice
  • The M1 MacBook Air offers excellent performance
  • Apple includes the fast Thunderbolt 3/4 interface on all of its computers–and now on an iPad
  • They seem to be on the right side of user privacy
  • The Apple Watch clocks (ho ho) all other smartwatches in terms of versatility and performance
  • They’ve been around for over 40 years, they can’t be *all* bad
  • My iPhone 12 works as intended
  • My iPad Pro is really pretty good as a drawing tablet
  • Did I mention the logo is nice?