PURR-fect art

When I was a teenager and had my own bedroom I would put posters up on the walls. These were usually maps of amusement parks like Magic Mountain or Disneyland, or “funny” posters such as the “Instructions to patrons on premises in case of nuclear bomb attack” one which had these last steps:

7. Immediately upon seeing the brilliant flash of nuclear explosion, bend over and place your head firmly between your legs.
8. Then kiss your ass goodbye.

This poster would have gone up around 1980 so the advice was actually pretty spot-on given global politics at the time.

As an adult I’ve never put up posters or any kind of art on the walls and I’m not entirely sure why. I obviously wqouldn’t put up maps of amusements parks and I’d stay away from “humorous” posters, too, but surely there must be something I’d like to have hanging on the wall besides errant spider webs.

And now there is.

Last year I bought a 13 x 19 inch poster and a few weeks ago finally got a frame for it and it now hangs resplendently in the computer nook:

It inspires me to be aloof and to chase laser pointers and hunt birds. And maybe write, too. We’ll see.

I have one other good spot for another poster or print in the nook, so I am mulling what to get as I am absolutely delighted by this cat (the design is by the artist Rachel Caldwell).

Run 575: A new bridge, a new stink, knees and bonus running

Run 575
Average pace: 5:49/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CCW)
Start: 12:15 pm
Distance: 5:03 km
Time: 29:17
Weather: Cloudy, some sun
Temp: 11ºC
Humidity: 64%
Wind: light to moderate
BPM: 167
Weight: 169.1 pounds
Total distance to date: 4460 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone 8

Last week I did an elliptical/treadmill workout at the Canada Games Pool because the weather was poop and I didn’t feel like running in poop. That meant it’s been two weeks since my last outdoor run, so I was curious to see how it would go.

The weather was slightly cooler, but still mild and I ran counter-clockwise, but conditions were otherwise similar.

My average pace turned out to be identical–5:49/km. The knees held up, as before, and my mind was mostly mulling over where that thing called stamina went, as 5 km feels more like 500. Still, I got through without any issues and when I’d walked enough to cool off I began to run/walk the rest of the way to the trail exit, probably adding over 2 km of extra run time. Mt walking pace for the 9 km return trip was exactly 8:00/km, which is basically impossible at an actual walking pace.

The knees felt stiff during the walk back, which had the curious effect of making me want to run, as it was more comfortable.

My BPM was a bit higher at 167 but still below the 170 threshold.

The skunk cabbage has reached its stinky phase. Fortunately it never gets super-stinky, just kind of “yeah, wouldn’t want to be locked in a room with that” stinky.

The new bridge, which was in place but not open for the previous run, was now open and had a nice grippy concrete surface poured on it. The old bridge is mostly dismantled, with only some of the superstructure remaining. The new bridge feels very solid and has a sleek and sexy curve. We’ll see how it fares in slippery conditions.

Overall, I felt better than expected given the time off. I managed to keep to my previous pace, so that’s encouraging.

I make no promises now, but I will try to run before another week has passed.

March 2018 weight loss report: Up 0.1 pounds

Although it doesn’t feel like it, March actually saw my ballooning waistline stabilize, with a margin-of-error weight gain of 0.1 pounds. I’m now up 4.8 pounds for the year, down from 5.2 pounds last month.

I remain donut-free.

I am trying to run more, but not doing well there.

I tried going cold turkey on snacks and ended up wanting to eat whole turkeys. I’m trying to ease off now instead.

If I work at it I may see actual weight loss by the end of April.

The fatty stats:

March 1: 167 pounds
March 31: 167.1 pounds (+0.1 pounds for the month)

Year to date: From 162.3 to 167.1 pounds (up 4.8 pounds)

And the body fat:

January 1: 18.5% (30.2 pounds of fat)
March 31: 19.2% (32.1 pounds of fat–up 1.9 pounds)

The paralysis of choice: Streaming music

If you ask someone to choose between three things, most will not find the task difficult. Expand those choices to ten and it requires more thought and investment in time, but most could still make a final selection using appropriate criteria.

Further expand those choices to, say, a hundred, and now you’re looking at a take-home assignment. And the person asked to choose may drop your class before reaching a decision.

This is the paralysis of choice.

I signed up to the three-month trial of Apple Music, mostly because the iOS 11.3 update seemed to add annoying pop-ups to the music app, bugging me to really try Apple Music, seriously, you’ll love it. So many songs. So much music.

I gave in and signed up to the trial and it’s true. There is a whole lot of music.

And I have no idea what to listen to because there is too much to choose from.

There are radio stations and playlists, but these just underscore how out of touch I am with current pop music. I recognize some of the names, but not all or even most of them. And these are for the music genres I like. I suppose exposing myself to new artists and the sounds they make is all part of this grand experiment, so I’ll give it a shot.

But really, my first pick was playing a song from the Styx album Kilroy Was Here. Not an auspicious start.

Also, I have some thoughts on the Apple Music interface as it relates to iTunes (PC and Mac versions), but it’s challenging formulating my impressions without lapsing into a rant, so I’ll need more time to gather those complaint-y thoughts into a more reasoned look at how Apple integrates its streaming service into the much-loved* iTunes software.

 

* ho ho

What’s the deal with the moon?

I mean, we all know what the moon is, how it affects tides here on Earth, how it’s not really made of cheese. We have some nice rocks from it. But after just a few years, starting in 1969 and ending in 1972, NASA sent astronauts to the moon and then…stopped.

No other country or organization has ever landed people on the moon. It’s all been probes in orbit since, with a few rovers landing now and then. And I wonder why.

It’s easy to see how conspiracy theories start. Is there something tucked away on the dark side we’re better off not seeing? Scary moon men? Giant moon cheese monsters?

I don’t know.

But we should totally go back and find out. Even if it’s just more rocks it would be nice to see people bouncing around the surface again, this time in 4K resolution. And sponsored by some horrible techbro company.

A picture of me, enhanced Blade Runner-style

(Not really enhanced Blade Runner-style. Sorry.)

A couple of days ago I was strangely and suddenly compelled to take a picture of myself in the mirror, like how people used to do selfies in the old days. Perhaps it was because I always seem to look better in the mirror vs. when I take an actual selfie and the selfie comes out horrible and ugly. Maybe I look better in reverse.

After looking over the image I noticed how filthy the bathroom mirror, which is also reminiscent of the old days when people took selfies in front of mirrors. No one thinks to clean the mirror first.

I could have cleaned the mirror and taken another photo, but I was afraid I would lose the moment, so I used Affinity Photo to clean all the splotches from the mirror. It worked reasonably well, so hooray for technology.

And the photo:

The dirty mirror and me, March 30, 2018.

By the way, it’s not graininess you see on the bottom of my face, it’s stubble. It’s also deliberate and looks way better in person. For real. Yep.

What’s the deal with Goldfish crackers?

There’s an entire section of the food industry devoted to Goldfish crackers. They come in a variety of sizes and flavors, but all of them are shaped like goldfish and usually orange-colored. For obvious reasons, they have chosen not to emulate the look of a black moor, since a black cracker would be kind of gross-looking (they do come in brown, though).

I’m guessing–because I’m too lazy to search the internet right now–that someone thought it would be cute to make little orange crackers shaped like fish, but not tasting like fish, as that would also be gross, like black crackers.

But who wants to eat a cracker shaped like a fish? It’s not like it’s a great association. Fish are stinky and slimy, crackers are crunchy and yummy. Fish can be yummy, too, but science has yet to transfer that into cracker form (or maybe it has. Like I said, I’m too lazy to check).

Now, Goldfish crackers are indeed yummy. I can open a bag and my hand assumes an automatic motion where it grabs crackers from the bag, shoves them into my mouth, then continues until the bag is empty or I exercise the barest smidgen of self-control and place the bag on the top of a difficult-to-reach shelf. Still, Goldfish crackers do not taste like goldfish, so the whole concept is wrong. It’s like making crackers shaped like worms. No one wants to eat worms, not even cracker worms. Okay, someone out there probably does, but there’s no way they’re getting them (unless they already exist).

Anyway, now I want some Goldfish crackers, so I guess you win this round, Goldfish crackers!

Grapefruit: Why bother?

I remember eating grapefruit as a kid (not at the same time as corn dogs) and it always involved two things:

  • that weird triangle-shaped spoon you used to cut into the grapefruit flesh:
  • lots of sugar

Adding sugar to a grapefruit basically turned it into sour, sugary candy fruit. There’s some nutritional value buried under all that sugar, but really, why not just eat something not incredibly sour-tasting that you won’t drown in sugar? And every kid I knew did this–and every parent let them. The Sugar Days, as we called ’em.

We were kind of dumb in the old days. Do people still eat sugar-encrusted grapefruit now? My hunch says…yes. Maybe they use Splenda instead, though. “Just one drop, Jimmy, that’s all you need. Jimmy, don’t squirt the bottle on it!”

The spring list

Things to do, things to suffer through, things that just happen. This is spring.

  • warmer weather, yay
  • allergy season, boo
  • bees are back. As long as they are not killer bees, yay
  • still kind of rainy, boo
  • but now the sun feels warm again, yay
  • it’s still light after dinner, yay
  • still dark early in the morning, boo. But it’s early in the morning, so not a big boo.
  • next season is summer, yay
  • Easter weekend has two stat holidays, yay
  • Easter eggs, yay

On balance, spring is a pretty good season.