It’s now 2014

Flying car joke goes here.

Meanwhile, gizmodo has an article from the January 6, 1910 edition of the Cedar Rapids Evening Gazette featuring 41 predictions on what the world would be like in the 21st century. These were predictions made in good faith (presumably). The full list is at the link but here’s a few I liked:

  • Cure for cancer. [Sadly this remains elusive]
  • Discovery south pole. [This happened the following year,  in 1911]
  • Create living organisms by artificial means. [Artificial insemination!]
  • Phonograph records substitute for letter. [This never happened but we now have the even less bulky email instead]
  • Settle question of communication with Mars. Wonderful astronomical discoveries. [We called, no one was home]
  • Power of mind over matter a practical science devoid of superstitious elements. [Telekinesis would mean never having to look for the TV remote again but this remains the realm of fiction or all my telekinetic friends are holding out on me]
  • United States constitution rewritten, providing improved means for conservation of original democratic principles. [LOL?]
  • Produce rainfall at will. [Seeding clouds makes this sort-of true]
  • Roads of nation paved. [Dream big, 1910! The prediction today would be: Roads of nation re-paved.]
  • Cure for and elimination of tuberculosis. [Nope]
  • Movements for universal language, universal religion, universal money. [Esperanto, (none), Bitcoins. That’s 0 for 3.]
  • Construction largely of concrete and metal or newly discovered materials. [Yep, especially for large buildings]
  • Electricity will move world’s wheels. Later radio-activity may substitute. [I don’t think radioactivity means what they thought it means]
  • Terrors of war so multiplied by death dealing inventions, chances of war minimized. [LOL?]
  • Population of United States based on present ratio of increased, 1,317,547,000 at opening of twenty-first century. [Off by about a billion. Maybe if they had developed baby machines.]
  • Machinery largely substituting manual energy, will promote pursuit of finer arts and sciences; give ample opportunity for relaxation and amusement; emancipate wage slaves. Three-hour work day predicted. [This is charmingly optimistic. And horribly wrong.]
  • Photographs in natural colors. [Yes!]
  • Women’s political equality. [In the U.S. women got the vote in 1920]
  • Government control of corporations. [Got this one backwards]
  • Animated pictures in natural colors, transmitted by wireless. [TV and/or Internet]
  • Natural colors reproduced in newspaper pictures. [Yes, although newspapers themselves are kind of going extinct]
  • Reduction of elimination all forms of gambling, including stocks. [LOL?]
  • Moral, intellectual and economical awakening in dark sections of Africa, China a world power. [“Dark” sections of Africa? Racist! Good call on China, though.]
  • Due to universal education, with special reference to hygiene, doctors and drugs be largely eliminated; average age to be near 60 years; men taller, stronger, higher intelligence and morals. [This one is funny because after all the lofty changes they still only expect people to live to 60.]

The slow as molasses last run of 2013

Average pace: 5:35/km
Location: Brunette River trail
Distance: 5.03 km
Weather: Cloudy
Temp: 8ºC
Wind: light to nil
Calories burned: 363
Total distance to date: 2489 km

I resolved to get in one last run before the end of the year. Knowing it had been over seven weeks since my last run (and that one being my first on a treadmill), I expected to be slow. Coupled with being out of shape was my new rounder shape–I’ve picked up about 12 (!) pounds since the last run. Egad.

I ran the Brunette River trail and had discovered on a walk a few days earlier that the entire roadway/trail had been resurfaced with fine gravel that was nicely compacted. This turned the trail from an obstacle course of potholes (some of near-epic size) that required constant zig-zagging to one you could run in an actual straight line. It’s nice!

It was around 8ºC and overcast, threatening showers but dry. There was no wind. I wore a jacket that I ended up not needing. I was never cold, thanks to the mild conditions and the extra layer of fat I’d developed over the last few months.

For the first 500 m it was like I hadn’t missed a day of running. My pace was around 4:31/km. After 500 m it felt like a thousand agonies. This continued until the last 500 m where in a nice bit of symmetry I was able to actually pick up the pace, though not quite to the level of 4:31/km.

My average pace was 5:35/km. To put this in perspective, my last regular run on October 25 had a pace of 5:06/km. However, if we go back four years to 2009 the pace of my run on December 29 (my first 10K, as it turns out, though my 24th run of the year) was 5:50/km so even when fat and way off peak condition I take solace that I’m still better than I was when I was only a few months into running.

Here’s hoping the next run will be a tiny bit easier.

The pre-announcement: 10 Pairs of Shorts

In 2014 (one day from now, though this is not something that will actually be happening tomorrow, barring some kind of time travel trickery) I will be self-publishing my first short story collection. After looking over the collected stories I have written and weeding out those either not ready or not up to par I have settled on twenty for a collection that will be titled 10 Pairs of Shorts. Clever, eh? Here are the stories:

  • At the Door
  • Cervidae
  • Hello?
  • Learning to Die
  • Lily Tries to Go Shopping
  • Rainy Day
  • Slice of Life
  • Stop That Cow!
  • The Broken Bridge
  • The Cobalt Sensation
  • The Chicago 8 vs. Armageddon
  • The Chicago 8 vs. Time
  • The Dream of the Buckford County Church
  • The Lunch Gnome
  • The Sometimes Island
  • Dented World
  • Regina and the Shortcut with Teeth
  • The Box on the Bench
  • The Bear (working title)
  • Swimmers and Fog (working title)

This list is subject to change on my whim but I am fairly certain I will stick with this selection.

Here are some broad classifications:

  • Drama (nothing spooky/supernatural): 2
  • Superhero: 3
  • Science fiction: 3
  • Horror/weird: 12

You can see where my wheelhouse is. I love me some weird stories.

The twenty titles are in various states of completion, ranging from ready to go to “this is a neat idea”. The breakdown:

  • Ready to go: 6
  • Need revision: 9
  • Unfinished: 3
  • Unwritten: 2

It’s possible I may drop the two unwritten stories in exchange for others already completed, other entirely new stories or for nothing at all, with the collection re-titled 9 Pairs of Shorts as a result.

I don’t have a firm date for publication beyond 2014 but will post updates occasionally on my progress in getting there, with a big glitzy announcement when the happy day arrives and I start demanding all of my friends prove their friendship through purchasing as many copies of the collection as they can comfortably afford.

Adios to 2013

The best thing about 2013 is its mere existence guaranteed an entire branch of doomsday beliefs was neatly cut off as the whole “end of the Mayan calendar on December 21 2012 which must obviously mean THE END OF THE WORLD” has come and gone. So thanks for that, 2013!

Here’s my short take on the year:

Politics

The U.S. spies on everyone and everything. The most alarming aspect is the generally muted response from the U.S. public. Outrage is hard to sustain, all to the benefit of the NSA. The scariest tentacle monster is not to be found in manga.

In Canada the lingering Senate scandal and its handling finally took the shine off the Conservative government and has started the in-fighting. The Opposition, both official (NDP) and unofficial (Liberal) stand to benefit. Justin Trudeau has so far not screwed up as Liberal leader and has plenty of time to fit into his role. Will Mulcair trim his beard to look sexier? Stay tuned!

Entertainment

I am incredibly out of touch with pop culture vs. 20 or 30 years ago when I actually knew most of the current actors, musicians and “artists”. Even with my scant knowledge I can say I’ve had my fill of Miley Cyrus, the latest and perhaps most lamentable example of reworking an image. It is perhaps appropriate that her big hit through this is called “Wrecking Ball” (a song that Wikipedia says took five people to write). For popularizing the term “twerking” alone I’d be happy to never hear about Cyrus again.

On the plus side I discovered through a random comment on Broken Forum the band The Magnetic Fields, one of those great indie bands that never gets the attention it deserves. I have so far picked up their magnum opus, a three disc (remember those?) set called 69 Love Songs which is exactly what it sounds like, a collection of 69 songs about love. The songs are by turns warm and cynical, catchy and irreverent, switching styles as easily as one might switch channels on a TV in the vain hope to find something decent to watch.

And now a little on me:

Running

This was a mediocre year for running, with a combination of cranky feet and work conspiring to restrict my output severely over my banner year of 2012. By the end of the year I just kind of gave up, not even going out on weekends when I had available light (curse the early nights of winter, I sez). One of my resolutions is to get back to running regularly.

Reading

A regular commute that takes a little over an hour meant I had plenty of time to read this year and once I started my commute-based reading the number of books I went through shot up, ending with 24 books read (technically #24 is still being read but I could conceivably finish it today). A lot of this has been catching up on Stephen King novels I’d skipped over and I finally tackled The Dark Tower series more than twenty years after picking up The Gunslinger in paperback. I didn’t read anything I regretted reading, either, always a nice bonus.

Writing

Writing sputtered along. I flamed out halfway through National Novel Writing Month in November thanks to poor planning but may have enough of a novel there to salvage later.

The year was defined not so much by new output but rather old. Specifically I focused on polishing up a bunch of short stories with the intention to self-publish them as a collection. I’ll write more on this in another post but for now will say that the process of examining, editing and rewriting my stories has been a worthy one.

I did not put any notable effort into my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel The Ferry, which I intend to address next year.

Errata

2013 was at times a stressful year and I have ended up with goals partly based on some bad habits I let slip back in. But I got to do things I’ve never done before (fly!), read oodles of books and learned some important things about my writing that I will apply in 2014 and beyond.

You can’t have NaNoWriMo without No

I am now 2 for 5 in my efforts to win National Novel Writing Month:

NaNoWriMo 2009 WIN
NaNoWriMo 2010 LOSE
NaNoWriMo 2011 LOSE
NaNoWriMo 2012 WIN
NaNoWriMo 2013 LOSE

Sad trombone sound here.

The official stats:

  • 23,657 words
  • 47% complete
  • Number of days spent writing: 8
  • 2,957 words per day average (NaNoWriMo average needed is 1,667)
  • Longest period of non-writing while still participating: 5

I am one of those writers who eschews outlines, preferring to let the story organically grow as I write it. The biggest plus of this method is that it keeps me engaged because, much like a reader, I want to keep going to find out what happens next. The big negative comes if the story is not much more than a loose idea or concept. If I don’t have some kind of guidance the story can go down rambling dead ends and it can be difficult or impossible to find my way back to a semblance of plot structure.

This is what happened this year. I saw a general big picture, I had three characters,  each with a clear identity, personality and purpose. But after a few scenes I found myself unable to hammer out specifics to keep the story moving. The writing ground to a halt a few days in then picked up and sputtered along about a week later before finally stopping slightly over halfway through the month.

I don’t think I needed a formal outline for the story to have succeeded but I did need more than just a neat idea with few details to back it up. The good news is I can still make this story work, especially now that I am free of the constraints of the contest.

I am not sure if I will continue to participate in future National Novel Writing Months. Reflecting back on my five tries the best thing has probably been the sense of community while taking part, first on the Quarter to Three forums and for the past two years on Broken Forum. It’s enjoyable to see everyone discuss their writing travails and triumphs, give and respond to feedback, and to silently mock those whose lofty goals always fall short on the weakest of excuses (the writer equivalent of “the dog ate my homework”).

The other aspect that has been useful is the whole writing kick-in-the-pants the structure of the contest gives you. If you find yourself lacking motivation there are worse things you can do that join in a global effort to crank out a novel in 30 days, something (as mentioned above) that requires a commitment of about 1,667 words per day. The thing here is that if I am maintaining discipline I should never need to take part in NaNoWriMo for that kick in the pants.

My feeling at this time is I probably won’t take part in National Novel Writing Month 2014. I have more than enough on my writing plate as it is to keep me busy all of next year, some of the work being the two successful NaNoWriMo projects from 2009 and 2012.

In the end and as always, I regret nothing*.

 

* a lie. I regret many things but shrug and move on

NaNoWriMo update: Behind the proverbial eightball with 10 days to go

This will be a short update for reasons that will be clear as you read on.

Namely, I am behind. As of today, November 20th, I should have a word count of at least 33,340 to be on track. Instead I am officially at 22,340 or exactly 11,000 words (6.5 days) behind. I’m actually not quite that far behind because I’ve written more scenes in a Word document that hasn’t been added yet to the main Scrivener file but I am behind.

But that’s okay because I’m confident I’ll finish the story, whether it’s on November 30th or sometime after. I think it’ll be a good ride.

I’m not sure if I’ll NaNoWriMo again next year, though. I think my time may be better spent working on less “gimmicky” writing. We shall see.

The first official treadmill run

(NOTE: This post was actually published in December because I was too caught up in shenanigans in November to pay attention to my blog, but I’ve posted it on the actual day of the run to keep it accurate that way.)

With daylight after work growing short enough now to make post-work runs no longer feasible–the two places I normally run both lack any kind of lighting and would be Very Dark and possibly Very Hazardous to run–I finally did something I’d always wanted to: run on a treadmill.

I picked out a suitable machine at the Canada Games Pool, overlooking all the people happily splashing about in the pools below, no doubt happy because they were not using treadmills.

The machine was very big and sturdy. It had a lot of controls and settings but I figured things out enough to get started with a minimum of fuss. The most important controls were arrows that controlled the speed of the treadmill. I also noted the location of two bicycle-like handlebars to grip. I would come to know these intimately very quickly.

Getting started was the most difficult task and underlines how unnatural a treadmill is. On a trail run I control every aspect of my movement. I can slow and speed up on a whim, I got dodge and leap and generally do what is needed on a moment’s notice, something that is eminently practical on a trail that varies constantly in terms of condition.

The treadmill, on the other hand, controls you. Once the surface starts sliding back, you have two choices: start walking or slide off. As the speed of the treadmill increases, your choices become: start jogging or slide off at a high rate of speed as one might see in a bloopers video.

I had to use the handlebars.

I never did figure out the right tension/speed to match my usual running pace, I just kept cranking the speed until I felt I was running at what felt like something resembling a typical pace. I ended up with a time of 5:11/km which felt slower than it should have been but because I’d never used the iPod on a treadmill before I was merely content that it was in the right ballpark, to mix my athletic metaphors.

The motion of the running is odd. It feels unnatural and bouncy. The constant motion is strange. You can’t moderate your pace because that means sliding off, you just relentlessly continue. I suppose that makes it good for pushing yourself to beat PRs or something. There is always the option to ramp the speed down but that means leaning forward slightly to hit the big down arrow. It sounds simple but running in place is amazingly good at making simple things more difficult than you’d imagine.

The most unexpected part, however, was the dehydration. I’ve used the ellipticals at the pool before and after 39 minutes of use I’d be a bit parched but nothing more. The building interior is a somewhat humid environment with all the water and warm temperatures. This made no difference on the treadmill. Either that or they had magically removed all traces of humidity from the building while it was closed for renovations, replacing it with a dry, desert-like air.

After an official time of 17:18 I slapped the Stop button. Fortunately this causes the treadmill to slowly wind down so I didn’t go flying off into the pool. The reason I ended my run with only 3.3 km covered is my mouth had become so dry it was difficult to swallow and it became so uncomfortable I literally could not stand it. Never on the hottest summer day with the sun blazing down on me have I felt my throat and mouth so cotton ball-dry.

I am reluctant to try the treadmill again though I suppose it deserves at least one more go before I decide to shun it unto forever. I will have a honking big bottle of water with me if I do.

National Novel Writing month 2013 is underway ~or~ How to go loco on 1667 words a day

Today marks the official start of National Novel Writing Month 2013 and I managed to come up with a vague yet somewhat attractive idea two whole days ago, so I’m running with it.

The first day was a success! I didn’t really start writing until 9:30 p.m. but ended up coming it at 2049 words, a generous bit above the daily 1667 word minimum.

The tentative title of my novel is The Start of the World, though that will change. I just can’t think of a better title right now.

Stats from Day 1:

Words: 2049
Music: Dire Straits, Brothers in Arms; The Moody Blues, Long Distance Voyager

The post-Nashville run

Average pace: 5:06/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Distance: 5.03 km
Weather: Cloudy
Temp: 13ºC
Wind: light to nil
Calories burned: 364
Total distance to date: 2475 km

After another two weeks between runs, mainly due to a near week-long trip to Nashville on business, I approached today’s run with some trepidation. I headed off to the lake to do a wee 5K again and noticed a few changes. The Brunette River trail now has a permanent wooden fence built alongside the north area that was restored last year, completely blocking it off. The fence is short enough to be trivially easy to get over (I could do so without having to climb it) but it sends a clear message to keep out.

People will climb over it and trample everything anyway because that’s what people do.

I also noticed someone had parked a fancy Range Rover in front of the gate at the entrance to the trail. The gate with the “Do not park in front of gate” sign on it.

Then there was a handmade sign below the one warning about bears in the area saying it was some young bear’s one year birthday, along with a cartoon picture of the bear. Sadly I don’t recall the name of the bear. I also have no idea what the sign meant.

When I got to the lake I checked out the fish ladder at the dam and a bunch of salmon were gathered there, eagerly waiting to be let into the lake so they could die, as is their way at this time of year.

The trail was in fairly good shape as the weather has been dry and there weren’t a lot of leaves on it. As I started out I was immediately struck again by how incredibly stiff my right Achilles tendon was. It took most of the run to limber up. Worse than that, though, was my right hip which was also quite sore for some reason. It continued to ache for most of the run. No idea why and I’m hoping this was a one-time deal.

Despite feeling sluggish as all get-out, my pace ended up being 5:06/km, only three seconds off my previous. I consider this perfectly decent after two weeks of eating everything in sight and basically indulging in what can be described as anti-exercise.

A final note: I saw three (!) cyclists on the trail and all three were walking their bikes. I have never seen so many thoughtful cyclists all at once. I salute them!

I’m hoping to check out a treadmill at the Canada Games Pool in a few days as the sun is now setting before 6 p.m., effectively eliminating the possibility of running after work until the spring (weekends excepted).

A not-so-turkey turkey run

Average pace: 5:03/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CCW)
Ran Spruce Loop, Conifer Loop and Piper Mill Trail
Distance: 5.04 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 10.5-16ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 364
Total distance to date: 2470 km

The Thanksgiving weekend has featured unusually pleasant weather given that mid-October is definitely into The Rains category. Today was no exception as I headed out on the first run in quite awhile to follow another on a normal schedule.

I started around the same time, a little past 11 a.m. and it was a touch cooler. Despite the temperature rising over 5ºC during the run I didn’t notice it much, mainly because even 16ºC is not exactly sizzlingly hot. It is, in fact, rather pleasant.

My goal on this run was to best my previous pace of 5:07/km. My secondary goal, as it turned out, was to not bump into other people as apparently everyone decided a sunny Thanksgiving was the perfect day for a stroll around the lake. While there were plenty of joggers, great roving bands of walkers were even more prevalent. A few times they even briefly blocked my way. That doesn’t sound like a big deal but it actually takes more than a few carefully positioned people to slow me down when running.

The run itself went fine. The left foot started out a bit sore again but it seems to level off a lot earlier now, so even at its worst it’s fine to run and even walk on, just annoying. Bollocks limbered up a lot quicker, too, and was not an issue. I achieved my target by setting an average pace of 5:03/km.

Sadly I am going away on a trip in another day that will last six days so I’m probably looking at another week between runs. Once back I should be able to get back into a more regular routine.

I look forward to some normalcy on my runs. Pretty please!

NaNoWriMo 2013 update #2: The edge of panic

I have officially set October 15th, the halfway point(ish) of the month as when I will panic if I don’t have a firm story in mind for National Novel Writing Month.

October 15th is three days from now. I’m sure I’ll have an idea. Oh yes.

To help prepare the way I have added the word count widget from the NaNoWriMo site to the blog. Come November 1st it will start tracking on a daily basis my stupendous output on the quest to completing  a 50,000 word mini-opus.

Should I find myself in the unthinkable position of not having a plot ready to go, here are three I grabbed from a plot generator site, each lending itself to literary greatness:

One evening, a widow and a strange boy try to find a game possessed by the spirit of a boy after playing with a disturbing puppet.

One day, a young widow and a lost widow transform a widower into the heart of a mental patient. [this generator really likes widows]

A barking dentist takes over the world under the bed and discovers another world.

I kind of like the last one, at least the “discovers another world” part, though perhaps if the barking dentist were a dog that would add another unexpected twist.

These were culled from the Springhole.net plot generator site. As with most generators the results are silly but can provide a spark. Especially if you like widows.

The cooler and faster run

Average pace: 5:07/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Distance: 5.03 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 12ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 364
Total distance to date: 2465 km

My plan today was simple: run 5 km and do it faster than last week’s super-sluggish pace. I was not feeling especially motivated to get outside but the sunny weather provided just enough to get me off my duff and I headed out shortly past 11 a.m. with the temperature a brisk 12ºC.

With the lower temperature I opted to wear my long-sleeved shirt but this proved unnecessary. I wasn’t overdressed or uncomfortable, I simply would have been fine with a regular t-shirt as it wasn’t that cool and I warmed up quickly.

I ran clockwise, starting precisely at the 0 km sign by the parking lot. The first thing I noticed was how incredibly, distractingly stiff Bollocks was. I ran somewhere between one and two km before it finally started to limber up and once it had it was fine. I still find it a little weird how this happens. It’s like it needs to be worked out to feel ‘normal’.

My left foot was being a bother before the run and remained so throughout but it never got so bad that it slowed me down. As I walked the remainder of the lake and back to the SkyTrain station (around 6 km, in addition to the 4 km to get to the lake) I was able to maintain a very brisk pace. That pleased me.

In the end my average pace was 5:07/km, a huge 12 second improvement over my previous pace, even if it’s rather mediocre for a 5K run. My next goal will be to nip a few seconds off that as I continue to work back into better form.

Despite being a sunny early Saturday afternoon, the trail was not overly crowded and everyone was polite and friendly. Overall I was happy with the experience. Also there are a growing number of black and brown striped caterpillars on the trail. I’m not sure if they’re hostile invaders or I just never noticed them before but they are beginning to challenge the black slugs for supremacy. The geese seem to have moved on.