Unlike the start of last fall, which turned out to really be the beginning of a one-month extension of a hot and humid summer, Fall 2023 has started out gray, with threats of showers in the afternoon, and a high temperature in the teens (17C).
Which is to say: Boo. I was prepared for a few more weeks of sun. I am not prepared for The Rains. Admittedly, lousy weather may help me be more productive at my various creative pursuits, though, because I won’t want to go outside.
I’m in a large, open food court or cafeteria. Although it’s a big place, it isn’t busy. I am going to order something to eat. As I walk by a glass display case holding food items, I notice an array of cookies that are the size of dinner plates. I am tempted, but will not order these, as I’m trying to lose weight, even in my dreams.
I get to the counter to order. A few moments later, another guy moves up behind me, then several others also join in. A girl approaches to take my order–except she ignores me and starts talking to the guy behind me. I stand there with a pretty convincing, “Whaaa?” look on my face before shrugging and moving on to another part of this giant cafeteria food place.
Here things get fuzzy, alas. All I can recall now is that I went to another food outlet of some type, and also failed to get food there for some reason, so I left the place, empty-handed and empty-stomached.
Another dream occurred sometime later: I am talking to two young women who are holding up some kind of line against a background of mountains in the distance. They want to know if the line is straight. Thinking about this now, it makes no sense at all, but in the dream it did, and I assured them the line was pretty straight. They seemed satisfied. I remember the mountains looked nice, and it must have been summer, because the sky was blue, and the peaks had no snow on them.
It felt like I was travelling.
I moved on, to a kind of outdoor shop that was filled with maps and outdoor gear and such. It was being remodelled, and the fragrant smell of fresh-cut cedar hung heavy in the air. It looked like about half the place had been remodelled using this raw, rough-hewn wood. I didn’t care, because in this dream, I just had to use the bathroom.
I got to the bathroom and again, everything was made from this rough-cut, fresh cedar. It was the best-smelling bathroom ever. The sink functioned in a fashion, but all the places where you could relieve yourself were covered in plastic and out of service. I had to leave because I couldn’t go. /zen
I later had a dream in which I was back working temporarily at my last job, something I would never do in a million billion years unless you, like, quadrupled my pay.
This comment is presented without context, because it could apply to a lot of people. If you absolutely must know who it references, click the spoiler below.
The quote:
When are we going to stop making stupid people famous for being both stupid and loud?
It’s not a great quote, by any means–some will bristle at using the word “stupid” to describe a person, for example, but I think what it conveys is an essential (and unfortunate) part of internet and social media culture, which is:
If you act stupid (substitute word of your choice here), you will generally be ignored
But if you act stupid and loud, people will pay attention to you, earning you “fame” of a variety
The internet allows anyone to be both stupid and loud
???
Profit! The world becomes worse, by increments (at least to start)
In the end, this is basically about trolls knowing how to be effective, and the age-old advice for handling the trolls remains the same: Ignore them. When they are loud, it makes it harder to do so (think of a dog barking outside your window) but it can be done, and when the trolls don’t get any response, they eventually move on. Probably to a new troll, but eventually they may fall into the obscurity they deserve. Giving them attention, even when it’s calling them out for being “stupid” gives them the oxygen they need to continue.
None of this is new or revelatory. But just today I wanted to put it down in writing again. Life is about the choices you make, even when the choices are thrust upon you. We can all choose not to engage with the stupid and loud. And we should!
Today is my birthday. As is tradition, I will not be doing anything noteworthy to celebrate. This blog post is pretty much it!
This particular birthday is a milestone in a couple of ways, one of them in a reflective sense, the other a little more morbid1Which I will address as a footnote: I have officially outlived my dad, who died at the age of 58.
I’m turning 59, which means this is the last year I will fit into that 50-59 bracket. Next year, I will officially be Old. You know how surveys always divide age groups up? I am basically at the tail end of the second-to-last group now, after that, I’ll be lumped into that amorphous group of people that spans from 60 to whatever you get to. This group is apparently a demographic that does everything the same, so it is not further subdivided. Apparently I will eat, shop, and entertain myself at 100 in the exact same way as I will at 60. I can’t wait to start listening to country music in earnest.
I don’t feel old, though. In fact, after spending all of my 50s running regularly (barring injury/snow) I feel pretty decent2The weather could be better, though. They predict only a high of 16C today and a chance of showers. Decent for running, less so for basking in the final days of summer.
And that’s really all I have to say. Here, then, is the Bitmoji version of me eating a birthday cake:
I got my monthly Jetpack report, dig it1Do cool kids say “dig” now? I want to be hip again. I want to be lit, or a banger, or something.:
That number of visitors translates to about 12 per day! A dozen people! That is double digits. Double digits is only one away from triple digits, and from there the sky’s the limit.
I want to thank the following for making this success possible:
Birds
Jogging (?)
Lists
Doodlings
That writing prompt I did about a barista going back in time to kill Hitler
I used to subscribe to a newsletter from James Clear1This is an admittedly great name for a self-help guru to have. I obliquely made fun of him here. I dropped the newsletter because he sent a lot of mail, the advice got very samey, and ultimately it gets fatiguing to constantly read platitudes about how to be a better person, blah blah blah.
He’s back!
I received an unsolicited email from him today2CleanShot X makes this look far classier than it did in reality:
I like the unspecified use of “top experts” in the above. What are they experts in? It doesn’t matter, they’re top experts! Trust me. Actually, let’s have a look:
Serena Williams: Top expert at tennising
Neil Gaiman: Top expert at writing
Gordon Ramsay: Top expert at yelling
What “small behaviors3I’m using the American spelling here and my spell checker is getting mad at me” made these experts so expertful? Let’s see:
Serena Williams: Has probably played five thousand million hours of tennis
Neil Gamin: Has probably written five thousand million words
Gordon Ramsay: Has probably yelled at five thousand million people
The key to become a class master (surely the goal of a MasterClass), then, is to spend an extraordinary amount of time doing the one thing you want to be an expert at. This is prime TED Talk stuff right here. Further, the small behaviors would seem to be:
Find something you want to do (“I want to be an expert yak herder”)
Spend an inordinate time doing that thing
Top Expert!
Anyway, spoiler: I did not sign up to MasterClass™.
Over the course of its ten albums, The Alan Parsons Project released 20 instrumentals, though more on their first five albums (four of which start with an instrumental and the fifth, The Turn of a Friendly Card, starts with a pseudo instrumental that runs about two minutes before the vocals begin).
What follows are lists, because I love lists!
Top 5 Favourite Instrumentals
In the Lap of the Gods (Pyramid)
Lucifer (Eve)
The Gold Bug (The Turn of a Friendly Card)
Pipeline (Ammonia Avenue) and Paseo de Gracia (Gaudi) (tie)
Secret Garden (Eve)
Honorable Mention: Sirius (Eye in the Sky). This song is probably indelibly tied to sports team introductions now, but it’s still a terrific and dramatic intro to Eye in the Sky. “Mammagamma” from the same album is also very good, if a bit slick.
What all of the above songs have in common is atmosphere. “In the Lap of the Gods” is mysterious, soaring and melodramatic (see more here). “Lucifer” starts with somewhat unnerving strings and sound effects (including Morse code), fades, then comes back with a staccato drum and ringing guitar, before adding in the requisite choir. “The Gold Bug” does feature vocals without words, but these really serve as another instrument in a lovely, layered song. “Pipeline” is perhaps the most conventional on the list, but it’s so incredibly smooth it feels wrong to omit it. “Paseo de Gracia” ties–this closing instrumental is the only one to have a Spanish flavour, with horns and more fine guitar work by Ian Bairnson. “Secret Garden” also features worldless vocals (again by Chis Rainbow) and has a sunny, almost Beach Boys sound to its harmonies.
Top 3 Weird Instrumentals:
Total Eclipse (I Robot)
Chinese Whispers (Stereotomy)
The Fall of the House of Usher (Tales of Mystery and Imagination)
Honorable Mention: The two instrumentals from I Robot that aren’t “I Robot”.
“Total Eclipse” is the only Project song solely credited to conductor Andrew Powell, and it’s this weird, almost discordant song that sounds like a portent of doom, perhaps reflecting how ancient people feared eclipses. “Chinese Whispers” is an odd, short piece featuring a vaguely Asian-sounding acoustic guitar, with Eric Woolfson’s daughters providing murmured vocals. “Usher” is the longest song the Project did at over 15 minutes, and it’s divided into movements that encompass sound effects of a storm, the house collapsing, choirs and everything else. It sounds entirely different from everything else on all ten of their albums. The two “I Robot” instrumentals, “Nucleus” and “Genesis Ch. 1 V. 32” are largely mood pieces.
Probably the Worst Instrumental:
“Hawkeye” (Vulture Culture)
It’s not bad, per se, it’s just very bland. Without any orchestration, it leans heavily on sax and keyboard, which also helps date it as a very 80s song.
When you’re hot and thirsty (after, say, just completing a long run), there is nothing more refreshing than cool, crisp water. This is not a revelation, but it struck me when I supped from the water fountain at Hume Park post-run today.
(This is also a blatant attempt to convince myself to drink more water.)
Pyramid is the third album from The Alan Parsons Project, released in 1978. It’s one of their best and here’s why, in no particular order:
Released at the height of disco, it exists completely outside of disco, achieving a timelessness so many great albums have.
At a mere 37:46 minutes long, this is an amazingly compact album (especially by prog rock standards), yet even in its economy it manages to pack in nine songs that include six vocalists, three instrumentals, a choir, tolling bells and a tuba solo.
Speaking of tuba solos, Pyramid isn’t afraid to go from the sublime to the ridiculous. The epic centrepiece, “In the Lap of the Gods”, an instrumental featuring the aforementioned tolling bell, choir and lush orchestration, is followed by “Pyramania”, which includes a tuba solo and lyrics like, “I consulted all the sages I could find in Yellow Pages/But there aren’t many of them.”
The concept (more a theme, really) comes through more directly here than on other APP albums. Every song echoes fears of death, of inevitability, regret and loss. The one exception is the final instrumental, “Hyper-Gamma-Spaces”, a trippy reprieve that focuses mainly on keyboards.
It’s a zany, mysterious grab bag of doom. Give it a listen on your favorite streaming service and soak in the experience of vocals without autotune.
When you get a spam message on an iPhone, you can report is as junk and have it block the sender and delete the message. If you also have a Mac, it will not mirror this, so you will still see the message there, until you delete it.
This morning, I was reminded that I broke one of my rules yesterday morning when I replied to a scammer. I haven’t done this in years. I don’t enjoy “the game” and appreciate having a single button I can tap to make them go away (it would be better if these messages never got through at all, of course). But yesterday morning I was apparently a bit cranky from being up extra early due to Mouse Incident™ and I did reply, before blocking. Behold my early morning sass:
Today, I asked my AI pal ChatGPT to come up with some sassy replies written in the style of Shakespeare that I could use instead. They’re actually not that bad!
Oh, treacherous fiend, whose wicked scheme is laid, In the realm of cyberspace, a villainous charade, Thy words, like honeyed poison, doth beguile, Yet beneath thy deceit, a serpent's guile.
And:
Thy message o'er Apple's channel of delight, Doth seek to rob me blind, in broad daylight, A plea for gold, a promise to repay, Yet, in truth, thou art but a wolf at bay.
But I will probably just Delete and Report Junk like I normally do.
And I will be sad. The transition from summer to fall is the only seasonal change that makes me feel a bit glum. Days get shorter and colder. Trees lose their leaves, vegetation withers. It rains more. It rains on top of the rain. Sometimes it floods. Yes, you get a few weeks of nice weather and fall colours right at the start, but that’s it.
By the time fall changes to winter, it’s already effectively been winter for weeks, so it doesn’t hit me the same way.
Here’s to Summer 2024! Only, uh, a lot of days to go. I could look it up, but I’d rather not know the precise number just now.
Use its smarts to come up with YouTube thumbnails better than these:
If anyone in the future ever wonders when the fall of civilization began, I’m pretty sure it will be answered with, “When everyone on YouTube thought goofy faces on thumbnails would make people watch.”
