For many years I had the following quote by Ellen DeGeneres on my website in the top-right corner, to underscore the absurdity of writing (especially writing for publication):
You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
I like absurd humor, so this quote resonated with me.
In recent years Ellen has come under fire for cozying up to George W. Bush, for treating guests and crew on her show poorly, and for generally seeming to be the opposite of the nice, wholesome image she presents.
So I’ve changed the quote. I still wanted something funny and my search will go on, but for now I’m going with this from Gene Fowler:
Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
Not quite as absurd, and darker, but it will do for now.
I went to London Drugs today, to get things both trivial (bubble bath) and not (toilet paper). It was my second time there since the pandemic forced us all into “physical distancing.”
Most of the Lougheed Town Centre mall is closed. The only ones open are London Drugs, Walmart, and a couple of banks. Oh, and Tim Hortons. The food court is nominally open, but only for takeout–the entire seating area is taped off. Most food outlets appeared to be closed.
I walked to the mall, taking my usual scenic router, with a brief detour to Burnaby Lake, to see hoe many cars were at the Avalon parking lot near the dam. There were a fair number, though somewhat surprisingly, not as many as when I was there last on March 21. There were new signs up regarding physical distancing, including this one:
Also handy if you need to determine if you are about to be attacked by a bald eagle.
The unfortunate thing here is that much of the trail around the lake (including the part right behind this sign) is pretty narrow, so you can’t even get 2 meters apart, even if you walk along the edges. I guess as long as you don’t sneeze into someone’s face…
I also found this on the path leading into Burnaby Lake:
This angers me, because it’s not just litter, it’s putting others at risk. A mask is by design going to be covered with the germs of the person wearing it. It should be disposed of responsibly, and carefully, not tossed on the ground. Imagine this scenario:
Asymptomatic person wears mask, then decides to discard it on the ground because they are thoughtless and dumb. Minutes later a family comes along with a young child. The child sees the mask and immediately picks it up to exam it, because it’s “neat.” The (hopefully) horrified parents tell the kid to drop it, but it’s too late–the kid is now carrying the virus. The family returns home, where they live with their grandparents. The kid eventually spreads the virus to everyone. One of the grandparents, already in less than good health, becomes very ill and ultimately dies.
All because someone was too lazy and irresponsible to dispose of their mask safely.
Unlikely? Maybe. Possible? Absolutely.
Passing through Hume Park, I noticed a new sign aimed at my least favorite people, dog owners:
PSAs featuring terrible puns are OK by me
I find the language interesting. “Please keep your pet leashed to help keep out parks and trails open.” At first glance, this doesn’t seem to be related to the pandemic, until you realize they would never close the park because off-leash dogs were running around, so it’s totally about the pandemic and fears associated with having pets running loose and, I guess, potentially spreading the virus? I’m not sure if that’s possible, but I like the city giving it to dog owners, anyway, because I had my fill of off-leash dogs way back. I’m also guessing the signs went up after complaints were raised, which would also be good.
On the way to the mall, I encountered a fair number of people (it was another unseasonably warm and sunny afternoon), but managed to keep my distance without difficulty and enjoyed just being out in the sunshine. It felt good and for moments at a time I could forget everything else.
Then I get to a pedestrian bridge that crosses over Stony Creek and see this:
This is impressive in its simplicity and clarity, yet also terrifying in how it doesn’t actually mention the pandemic, other than the covid19 in the URL at the bottom. It’s like, “This is your life now. STAY APART.”
I didn’t pass anyone on the bridge to find out how well others know right from left.
Once at the mall, I was greeted by several signs related to the pandemic (safety tips and a list of the few open stores) and a giant hand sanitizer dispenser, which gushed sanitizer into my awaiting hands.
London Drugs is now set up for physical distancing, which stickers on the floor showing you where to stand at the checkouts. The checkouts have Plexiglas barriers to protect the cashiers–it’s like they’re suddenly inside the salad bar. The Plexiglas is thick enough that talking to the cashier feels a bit like using the Cone of Silence from Get Smart.
They also had a giant stack of baskets at the front of the store that had a sign declaring them clean and ready to use. Buggies were similarly arranged:
Technically the arrow should be pointing to the right, unless there are buggies under the floor.
It’s a lot trickier to maintain distance inside a store, because stores are not really designed to keep people apart. While ducking through aisles and avoiding others, I observed a phenomenon I noticed again later today when I went grocery shopping at Save On Foods. While some people clearly try to avoid others and some make at least a marginal effort to do the same, a small set of people appear to be making little to no effort to avoid others and several of these people brushed by me multiple times. The one thing they all had in common?
They were all wearing masks.
It seems some people may be viewing masks as some magical shield that means you no longer have to worry about anything.
These people are dumb. And they make me nervous, and make shopping even more unpleasant now than it already is.
On the way out I went to use this sanitizer station in front of the taped-off playground–which looks like an abandoned crime scene–but the dispenser was empty so I made note to note touch anything for the next 30 minutes. Fortunately the mall has automatic doors at the entrance.
On the walk home, a guy on the sidewalk passed by carrying a take-out bag from White Spot. He was wearing a mask. If that isn’t a sign of the times, I don’t know what is. It also made me want a Legendary burger.
On North Road another guy passed by wearing a mask, as well as a bike helmet. He was not riding a bike, or even walking a bike. There was no bike. I have no idea what was going on there. I kept walking.
As I mentioned, more of the “I can do anything, I’m wearing a mask!” people were at Save On Foods, but I was buying a ton of stuff (to minimize trips) and used a buggy, which is a great way to keep people from getting too close. Also it was kind of fun to toodle around the store with it. The last time I used a buggy while grocery shopping was…probably never.
I try not to think too much about it, but every time I got to a store, I wonder how long it will be before we can shop normally again. A few more weeks? Months? Longer? I’m not sure I’d want someone to tell me the answer now, if they knew.
I also took a few pics of things not related to COVID-19 while I was out. These will be posted separately, so they don’t get infected by this post.
Nothing too exciting to report on tonight’s workout. I started reasonably early compared to some recent exercises–it was only 9:30 p.m. when I hit the treadmill.
I wasn’t really feeling it, but sometime around the midway mark my mind started to drift and I muddled through, distracted from the sweating and exertion by various thoughts about various things.
Note the stats below are comparing today’s 30 minute workout to the previous, which was all of 7:28 minutes. The only interesting thing of note is that my pace after 30 minutes was the same as after 7:28 minutes, so I apparently had more gas tonight than I did the previous night.
Speed: 6.5 km/h
Incline: 10
Pace: 9:31/km (9:31 km/h)
Time: 30:03 (7.28)
Distance: 3.15 km (0.78 km)
Calories burned: 284 (59)
BPM: 137 (123)
I went for a walk down to the park in the afternoon and unlike my previous stroll, I made sure to not have a few lingering minutes left on my exercise ring to haunt me through the rest of the day.
The rest of the day proved to be a rather lazy one, though, so I ended up with a shortfall on my move ring instead. I was at 90% by 11:30 p.m. and my mind was starting to click over into “too bad so sad” on missing closing all three rings. But at 11:45 p.m. I found myself donning my shorts and hopping on the treadmill, determined to close the move ring in one final burst of obsessive completionist effort. It happened at 11:55 p.m.
My exercise lasted 7:26 minutes and covered 0.78 km. The minimal stats are below. Hitting my move goal with minutes to spare gave me a perfect week on all three goals, and made me feel a tiny bit better about having a pretty lazy day overall.
Stats (note I am comparing to a shorter-than-normal 20 minute walk):
Speed: 6.5 km/h
Incline: 10
Pace: 9:31/km (9:38 km/h)
Time: 7:28 (20.03)
Distance: 0.78 km (2.08 km)
Calories burned: 59 (163)
BPM: 123 (129)
Technically I didn’t wait until the last minute, but with a mere two minutes remaining on my exercise ring, I finally decided to do a treadmill walk…at 11:10 p.m.
I cut it a bit shorter than normal–down to 20 minutes–but I figured that might also provide some interesting info on how a shorter workout would differ, stat-wise.
First, I was slow, which one would not expect in a shorter workout. I think this was due to the late start and my body basically already switching to going-to-bed mode and being suddenly shocked into what-the-heck-is-going-on mode.
But more expectedly, my BPM was down to the lowest yet at 129.
Other than being slow, the stats are pretty much in line with doing two-thirds of the usual workout. And now I don’t have to go to bed cursing myself for leaving that tiny sliver of the exercise ring open.
Speed: 6.5 km/h
Incline: 10
Pace: 9:38/km (9:29 km/h)
Time: 20:03 (30.04)
Distance: 2.08 km (3.17 km)
Calories burned: 163 (266)
BPM: 129 (136)
I went for a walk in the park today, just like in the old saying, and managed to get 23 minutes on my exercise goal. I later managed another two minutes at home, somehow. Maybe I loaded the dishwasher with extra vim. This still left me with a five minute exercise deficit and it would bug me getting that close and not hitting that particular ring. This is a good example of how the activity rings on my watch work to motivate me. I push a bit, then guilt does the rest!
I had two choices: go outside for a five minute walk around the block. It’s evening, cool and the chance of encountering others is small, or I could do a treadmill workout, which would be longer, harder and sweatier.
As you may have guessed, I did the latter. I felt a smidgen guilty (see?) having not been on the treadmill for a few days, so it seemed like it was time.
I felt fine to start, but was slow, improved in the middle, then began to fade a bit the last few minutes. I am out of shape. But getting better, bit by bit.
I’m not even going to talk about what happened when I tried getting into my size 30 shorts this afternoon (hint: it wasn’t pretty). I went out wearing my sweatpants. My oh-so-forgiving sweatpants.
Anyway, I’m glad I did the workout. As for the stats, BPM was good, calorie burn was lighter, reflecting the slower pace, but overall not bad.
Speed: 6.5 km/h
Incline: 10
Pace: 9:29/km (9:19 km/h)
Time: 30:04 (30.03)
Distance: 3.17 km (3.22 km)
Calories burned: 266 (275)
BPM: 136 (137)
On my old PC I was able to install and play Diablo 2. The game is 20 years old now and has lots of janky bits to it. The characters walk awfully slowly around the landscapes, and they move like they have to go to the bathroom very badly. You have to hold town portal and identify scrolls in your limited inventory. And so on.
But still, the music is great and there is satisfaction in slaying a multitude of demons and picking new skills to slay a multitude more.
Last April I assembled a new PC. Still running, Windows 10, but now with a newer video card (still Nvidia) and a modern CPU (this time AMD instead of Intel). Among the games I installed was Diablo 2, grabbing the installer from Blizzard’s site, and using my license key from the same place.
When I ran the game I got an unhandled exception error. Visions of the early days of Tribes 2 came vividly back–these are not good visions. I began searching for, then attempting every fix or workaround I could find.
All of them failed. Diablo 2 would not run on my new PC.
Fast-forward to today, a year later. Diablo 2 will still not work. I am sad, but have moved on.
But wait, that’s a lie, because I am actually still quietly obsessed with getting the game to work. Periodically I try something new, or repeat something I’ve tried before, hoping it will magically work this time.
Yesterday I went looking for my original game CDs…and found them. I brought out my portable USB DVD drive, connected it to my PC and tried installing the game the same way I did back in the year 2000. Then it asked for a CD key. No problem, I went to my Blizzard account and…noticed that it has a license key, which is different than the CD key. The CD key is on the front of the CD case, but I found the discs in a binder of game discs.
I searched again…and found my original CD jewel cases! The one for Diablo 2 has a note on the back to assure you that it is “Year 2000 compliant.” Good to know.
The installation of the game and Lord of Destruction expansion is appropriately tedious, requiring me to juggle an Install Disc, a Play Disc, a Cinematics Disc and Expansion Disc.
I previously had installed a Glide (3dfx) wrapper, which was one of the recommendations in getting Diablo 2 to work on modern systems. I completed the installation and the game moved to the video test, which is sort of farther than it had gotten previously. I say sort of because the latest patched version of the game removes the video test entirely.
The test completes and it defaults to 3dfx. I leave this and without doing anything else, I click the Play button.
And it works.
It works with both the base game and expansion. Yes, for now I need to leave the DVD drive connected and have the Expansion Disc in it. Yes, it is only running version 1.07 (the version that the LoD expansion updates it to). But it works and everything is there, in glorious 800×600 resolution!
Behold my druid, DrewEd (no, I will not apologize for the name):
You may have to squint a little.
As for the actual game, after the opening cinematic (which makes no reference to your character at all), you are dumped into the Rogue Encampment where Warwiv vaguely warns of evil spreading across the land and the monastery is closed. Then you’re left to just bumble around and kill things. It’s been 20 years, I don’t remember how the plot actually gets started. Or how much of a plot there even is. All I know is I want my volcano and molten boulders, and they shall be mine.
I like that I live in an urban area of over 2 million people and yet in 15 minutes I can walk from my place and listen to the quiet burbling of the Brunette River. Well, quiet at the moment. In the winter it can get a bit animated.
Note: If you look closely you can see a freight train rolling by in the background.
