I asked ChatGPT (now my best friend) to write a haiku about noisy neighbours upstairs, and it nailed it.
Early morning steps Upstairs neighbour stomps around Peaceful dreams now gone
I have nothing to add.
The un-peace
haiku
A haiku to getting fat
Today, I weighed in at a high-for-the-month weight of 163.2 pounds. This is bad and I feel bad. I vow to do better, even though it’s December and it may seem like a hopeless battle.
I asked ChatGPT to write a haiku about gaining weight. It still managed to put a positive spin on it.
Gaining Weight: A haiku by ChatGPT Winter has come, Gone are the days of summer sun. Now I must eat more.
ChatGPT also seems to have a liberal interpretation of what a haiku is, because that ain’t 5/7/5!
One more time, a haiku about getting fat:
Getting Fat: A haiku by ChatGPT Layers of fat grow, Once sleek form now soft and slow. Winter indulgence.
That’s more like it! It’s also an actual haiku.
Now I’m off to eat nothing. NOTHING. Well, maybe breakfast. But then NOTHING.
Haiku to uncertainty
Haiku to Uncertainty In uncertain times One reaches out to comforts Oh no my waist grows
(Don’t worry, I’m good now, but for a few weeks this month, let’s just say that me and Pop-Tarts got re-acquainted.)
Haiku to a headache
I spent most of the day with a headache and did a lot of not much at all, other than laying on the bed, drifting in and out of sleep, and having weird dreams.
I did end the day with a 40-minute workout on the treadmill, though. so there’s that.
The haiku:
The head starts pounding Seek a magic pill to fix Modern life is great
A haiku to the weird lack of precipitation in September
NovemberSeptember Rain The days are sunny The rain appears like a ghost And then it is gone
A haiku to humidity
If you can’t beat it, wax poetic about it.
Humidity
Humidity sucks Take your wet bulb and stuff it Sweating and sweating
Well, that turned out a tad bitter! But I like it. Stupid humidity.
Current humidity as of this writing: 83%
Curiously unmotivated
Yesterday (Saturday, August 27, 2022, for the record) I was curiously unmotivated to post. I was up late and as I watched the time tick by, and it got closer to midnight, I thought, “I should at least post something, even just a haiku.” and yet I did not. I watched some videos, I had a nice shower, I did some reading. I slept.
I regret none of these things. Sometimes you just need to let everything slip away and get lost in your own head for a while. Which I did.
Now that that’s done, here’s a haiku and a cat:
Enjoying nothing Is no easy thing to do Brains don't shut down nice
Cat:
A haiku to coming up with names
I’m trying to come up with a new name for my revised newsletter, but nothing is coming to me. Why are names so hard? Why, I ask.
Why are names so hard? I think but my brain says no Time for some ice cream
Haiku to aliens silently observing us
Assuming there are a) aliens and b) they find us interesting enough to observe, of course. A haiku, in the form of a gentle plea:
Hello aliens We're not as dumb as we seem We need more time, please
This haiku is inspired by:
- Putin thinking it was smart to invade Ukraine
- People who cry about losing freedom because they have to wear a mask sometimes during a global pandemic
- Global warming made a lot worse by guess who!
- The general decline in rational thought, reason, compassion and what passes for common sense
Sometimes I think, “Wouldn’t it be neat to have a glimpse 100 years into the future, to see what wondrous technologies are yet to come?” but these days I’m more likely to pass on such an idea because I feel that future glimpse would reveal a world in which we (humans) are either gone or set back a thousand years or so in terms of technology due to our inability to stop fighting/killing each other and being so selfish and short-sighted about everything and anything. Sure, social media (nominated for Top Scourge of the 21st Century by me) amplifies all of this and perhaps makes it seem so much worse than it might really be, but I still find myself sighing over how often I see people being so casually thoughtless and uncaring. It feels like the glue that holds us together is wearing thin and everyone is moving toward looking out for #1, which will probably lead to our eventual doom.
Or maybe we will have flying cars and baby machines. Who can say? It’s easy to focus on the negative, so let me try one more haiku:
Hello aliens We are a work in progress Please do not blast us
There, a wee bit more positive, woo.
Haiku to atmospheric rivers
The weather that keeps on giving.
Rivers in the sky Raining down so much water My spirit is damp
A haiku to The Rains
With another heavy rainfall warning in effect, it’s hard to believe it was mere weeks ago that the whole province was kindling waiting to explode. But here we are, complaining again as The Rains resume.
And now, a haiku:
Rain, rain and more rain Contemplating ark building Umbrellas for life
Good advice: A haiku
Be nice to others Don't taunt someone with a bomb Walk away intact